NEW YORK (AP) For the holidays, there’s nowhere better than home. And it might not always be a good thing.
Following the very controversial and polarizing 2024 presidential election, Thanksgiving and the start of the winter holiday season may provide some people with a break from the world’s happenings while spending time with their loved ones. Spending hours or even days with those who have had the most impact on our life. In a lifetime of memories, another chapter.
That’s one situation.
Others dread that same time frame, especially in light of the divisive presidential campaign. Disagreements, abrasive remarks, wounded sentiments, and rising voices are likely to be present.
People with potentially sensitive personal situations can choose what to do and what not to do to help themselves and their families get through this time with the least amount of open conflict and a chance to get to the point of the holidays in the first place, according to those who study people and their relationships in the increasingly complex 21st century.
Do an honest assessment of your current situation.
Take some time to honestly consider whether you are ready to spend time with someone right now, just a few weeks after Election Day, when emotions are still running high, if you have strong feelings about the outcome of the election and know that the people you would be spending the holiday with feel the same way.
I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World author Justin Jones-Fosu believes that the answer may be that you’re not, and that it might be best to take a short pause.
Each person will be extremely different in this, therefore you have to evaluate your own preparation, he says.
It’s not about taking a permanent step back, he stresses. We’re talking about that time right now since it’s still quite recent. Perhaps Christmas will be different.
DO NOT overlook the holiday’s broader significance.
Jones-Fosu advises staying focused on the reasons you chose to go in the first place. Perhaps it’s because your children want to see their cousins, a loved one is growing older, or you have a relative there that you don’t see very often. You might be able to get through the period if you remember that reason.
Establish limits.
Karl Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University who studies family alienation, advises making the holiday a politics-free zone and sticking to it if you decide that coming together is the way to go but you are aware that politics is still a touchy subject.
Will someone’s opinion change as a result of a political discussion? He says. Establish a demilitarized zone and avoid discussing it if there is no chance of persuading anyone otherwise.
Don’t fall for the trick.
Let’s be truthful. There are times when someone has something to say and will say it, even with the best of intentions to keep the Christmas get-together free of politics and drama.
Tracy Hutchinson, a professor in the graduate clinical mental health counseling department at the College of William & Mary in Virginia, advises against being involved in it in that situation.
One of the most crucial things, she says, is to avoid taking the hook, which is difficult. You don’t have to attend every debate to which you are invited, after all.
DO consider what will occur following the holiday.
Consider doing what Pillemer refers to as forward mapping if you don’t want to get caught up in the moment. This entails adopting a medium- and long-term perspective as opposed to focusing solely on immediate approaches. Perhaps picture yourself reflecting on the dinner and the memories you would like to have in six months.
“Consider how you want to remember this holiday,” he advises. After a two-hour disagreement, do you want to remember your brother and sister-in-law hurriedly leaving and returning home?
Don’t feel that you must remain there all the time.
Are things becoming more intense? Reduce the tension. Leave. Furthermore, it need not be in a huff. You and the family may require a quiet, collected moment out from time to time.
According to Hutchinson, you may respond, “I need to make this phone call,” if they do begin acting in that manner. I need to use the restroom. I’m going to go for a stroll around the neighborhood.
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